The Ongoing Gospel

In light of yesterday as I processed what it really mean this Fall that my dreams were coming true in our endeavor to Cambodia, I began to think of the heart link that has drawn me to this beautiful country for so long, that heart link being my family.

I am a first generation niece, cousin, daughter, grand daughter here in our own Nation, my family escaped hell on earth in the tragedy that was the Khmer Rouge in the 1970's where nearly half of Cambodia's population was slaughtered, unfortunately by there own people. I am often questioned with such a rare situation, why exactly I would go back. And I can't help but think, Why wouldn't I go back? God had a plan bringing my family here, and I believe I owe it to those that are there to go back. In a predominately buddhist country I want to give back the greatest gift I have been given, the gift of the Gospel.

I tend to try to stay away from preachy blogs, although I live my life serving Jesus, I often become a bit shy about preachy things because Christianity in America has been so misconstrued. I am a believer in people reading the way I live my life, not just my facebook posts or blogs. But I cannot water down, sugar coat, or run around the soul reason and purpose why I do the things I do, and why I am who I am. Because God saved a wretched sinner like me. A sinner who was more consumed with herself, material things, living life selfishly and worthlessly, getting by to make something of myself when I didn't even realize I was made for something greater, my maker.

Right now, our family is going through an extremely trying time. My uncle has been diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer after a tumor had been found only a week ago. It's in times like these that the most cliche preachy things are always said....

"God knows what he is doing", "There is a reason for it all", "God will heal him".

I believe those things, to a certain extent. But sometimes, God does not reveal reasons in our time, or why he does things. And yes my friends, Christian or not...God does not always heal us. That is the reality that is our fallen world, and that is the God we serve. He CAN heal all things, but there are times when he doesn't, and when those times come....I am sad, yet joyful because the Gospel is ongoing. The Gospel that saves us all promises that we have eternal life with Christ, and that our hope and our faith is in him.

I can't help but think of Hebrews 12:2

"Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for  the joy that was set before him
endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

I think in the midst our shame, pain, turmoil and tragedy. Jesus suffered more than I can even fathom, not for that moment but for the joy that was set before him. The Gospel, that Jesus came, and died so that we may live tells me that despite any circumstance that I may face, that my Joy is set before me in the life to come after my earthly purpose is fulfilled. This also tells me that in the midst of my deepest, darkest moments, that He had a deeper and darker moment. That the living God I serve not only knows how I am feeling and cares, but that he himself has endured even worse, for me.

For me. For you. For my uncle. For Cambodia. For America. For the World.

In the midst of my fear, pain, and worry today for my family. I am reminded of the gracious providence in my life that God enabled me to choose him, that he would call me his own and call me to him. That yes I have the hope of healing, yes I have the hope of redemption and grace. But ultimately, my hope is in Him Jesus, who because of what he did for me, I live for him. Despite what life circumstances may bring us, it is in death that the joy is set before us, the day that we are reunited with Christ.

I ask that you pray for my families healing YES. But I ask more that we would know the fullness of Christ in trying times. That we would not overlook our Sunday services, our morning devotions, and we would not act like an answering machine of life just say the right things at the right time. Pray that in the midst of  the good times and bad times, that we are desiring Gods perfect plan and will for our lives no matter how they make us feel. Emotions are fleeting, and Gods truth is forever. Pray for us, and for yourselves that we would never lose sight of the ongoing Gospel in our lives. That despite it all, because he came to save us, we are saved.


1 Timothy 1:12-16

12 I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service,13 though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, 14 and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15 The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. 16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.

When God Says Go

It has been an incredibly long time since I've felt the urge to write, and like many things in life when i comes...I just need to go for it. The title of this blog is what I feel so heavy in my life right now, when so many people don't understand why we do what we do, but how we respond when God says Go.

God has told us to go, and we are answering. Although unconventional, it has been my dream to go to Cambodia for as long as I can remember. In college, I was gripped with the reality of sex -trafficking and modern day slavery in young girls, it was my dream to live in a tree, feed all the orphans, and leave this American dream behind.

Now that the time is finally here, it looks a bit different than I previously imagined. I never imagined going to Cambodia married, but it fits nice....and I never imagined going to learn about the bible...IN CAMBODIA. But Gods ways are mysterious, and his ways so much better than my ways. I will more than likely still do what I dreamed to do way back when, it will just look a little bit different than before.


I have been constantly ridiculed by the ideas of all that I'll leave behind, all the comforts of the first world. The things as Americans we take for granted. Ridiculed often by the ideas of finishing school, the job I had always dreamed of, not the white picket fence but definitely the sky rise apartment.

If I have learned anything in the last 3 years of adventuring with my life and serving Jesus, it has been that he has never let me down, always provided for me, and his ideas are so much better than my ideas. I am challenged in this Christian life to not only say that I am Christian and do all the Christian things that I am "supposed" to do, but to do the things that so many of us don't want to do. Leave whats uncomfortable to pursue whats we HOPE to be is worth it, looking back at the last 3 years, it has been worth it.

I am challenged though, anxious at times, worried about worldly things Money, what people will think of me, how much I will miss my family. And the words keep ringing in my ear, When God says Go.

I write this today to vent a bit, process, but to also ask you..What is God asking you to do, Where is he asking you to go? It will more than likely look a lot different than where he is taking me, but are you willing to go? Despite the sacrifices, the trading of worldly things for heavenly things?