Abortion. A topic that can bring friends to enemies, religion to division, and just plain anger. My heart is never to anger, oppose one’s opinion in superiority, or even divide. My opinion is just this, simply my opinion. One that comes from conviction and truth from who I know that God is.
I am in total understanding that my conviction, may never be anyone else s at any point in life. See that is what makes us all unique, we are all gifted with a freedom to believe, a freedom of speech. What a gift, as life is such a gift, a gift that I believe 39 years ago today was placed in the hands of man.
When I was growing up, I was way too consumed with myself to ever care about what was going on that didn’t affect me. Until, it began to affect me. At the age of 15 when I began on a downward spiral, I found myself in the place of safety with the idea of abortion. Not only did I believe in it, I depended on it knowing that my choices were my choices, my consequences were my consequences, and that it was MY body. I could do what I want with it, and no one had a right to tell me what I chose to do with it.
I was on birth control for months, took plan B whenever I needed it. The cultural norm had me in a place of desensitization towards the aspect of the value of life. Life to me was this....It is my life, I will let it change when I want it too, and I sure am not bringing a baby into the world when I don’t want it....I was too consumed with sex, less consumed with responsibility. I was enthralled with passion & lust, not realizing that slowly I was conforming to the ways of society that was once convenient, a place of justice for women's right. In all that was in me, I thought I was right.
Being pro-life meant nothing to me except that you were way too conservative. Conservative Christians today are a horrible representation of what the church is meant to be. I did not want to ever been seen as “one of them”. The church is meant to be a place of acceptance and love. Instead, we have become the face of judgement and condemnation. I sincerely grieve what the American church has become, because I know in true relationship with knowing who God really is, it is the opposite of judgement & hypocrisy. We as Christians need to rise up, and really walk in the way that we preach. Not in perfection, but in forgiveness and humility.
So what was the big deal? A women's right to her body is a right to her body. In these past years I have been wrestling with the idea of abortion, with the grey lines, the debates, the scientific explanation. The what ifs? Well, what about rape, incest...All these things that can bring a very thin line in the area of right and wrong. In my own selfishness, why does it even matter? Then God began to speak to me about how it isn’t about what I think...It is about what he thinks.
Psalm 139
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
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| A Picture Worth A Thousand Words |
I think of 54 million babies that have not been given the chance to live, and although it is the woman's choice, and there are reasons upon reasons of the choice to give life. I cannot help but think of the genocide that is in my generation right now that we all see as justice, that I once saw as justice, but it is truly not.
So in that, is an open public prayer to God. That everyone can see, that is not me arguing, not me trying to outsmart those that have their own opinion. This is just a piece of my heart that God has been bringing the light to the dark place that once was my own deception that it is my choice to play God in bringing a life into the world.
Lord,
Thank you for giving me your heart for the injustice of 54 billion babies in 39 years that have not been given a right to life. I thank you for the fact that you Lord are so gracious, so merciful, and that to those that have struggled in the area of abortion you offer such freedom and forgiveness, and that there is absolutely no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. Forgive me for the years of believing I had the right to choose whether or not I would allow you to bless me with new life. Lord, be with the women that are abused and raped and taken advantage of, Show them justice and love & bring them to a place of peace. God, I pray you would begin a miraculous work in the hearts of America, that we would not see this as a debatable issue with the one right answer, the one right way to look at it. But instead God you would give back the value of life to the baby, to humanity. That they would see that every good and perfect thing comes from you, and that even if it is a bad thing at first you make it good. I love you, and I know that my view is unconventional, it is not understood, and it is argued, but God I give it back to you, and say this isn’t my opinion to have anyways, its yours.
Thank you lord for allowing my mom to choose life, that I may be a voice to the voiceless.
I think that if you choose not to have an abortion, that's completely your right. But I don't think you or anyone else should chose for me or any other woman. It would be a wonderful world if all babies were wanted, that there was no poverty, abuse or neglect. And it would be wonderful if God touched everyone the way it touched you and that all women realize that using abortion as birth control is NOT a good choice. But I wish that you would also realize that by having access to birth control did allow you to make a choice, even if it wasn't for the best or most noble reasons. You could have been a mother at 15, would not have some of the opportunities that you have now. I love you and I will always support you, even if I disagree with you.
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